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March 23, 2023

White Pine Pickle
Jacob Pszczolkowski
Production Manager
Welcome to Another Issue of the White Pine Pickle

Here at the White Pine Pickle, we tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth, if you try to say otherwise you’ll be receiving a call from our lawyers truth, and “Marvel Movies are still good” truth. Factual information is what we do best, and you can cite this specific paper for your essays and reports with full confidence. We’ll even throw in a word search for you, courtesy of our editor in chief.

Between fending off Kaiju in California, sneaking bombs past airport security, skipping class to sleep in the civic center parking lot, and playing Dark Souls instead of sleeping, it’s been a busy year here at the Press.

Y’know what I find offensive? The term “improvised explosive device.” There is nothing improvised about this piece, I put my hard mental, physical, emotional, and excretory work into this, the court calling it “improvised” is just downright insulting. I’d like to see them do better!

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